


to feel like me, i have to feel you

by undernightlight



Category: Power Rangers, Power Rangers S.P.D.
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bridge Carson needs a hug, Emotional Hurt, M/M, Scared Bridge Carson, Sky Tate needs a hug, referenced Episode: s13e30 Missing, referenced Episode: s13e33 Badge, soft
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-16
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:29:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25293967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undernightlight/pseuds/undernightlight
Summary: Bridge can sense emotions like heat. Each person radiates to different degrees, but nobody radiates like Sky does, and when it comes to Sky, sometimes Bridge doesn't know when to stop.
Relationships: Bridge Carson/Sky Tate
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I SWEAR THIS ISN'T KINKY !!! It sounds it, I know, but it's not, it's just very angst. I don't know why I do this to myself honestly.

Bridge had learnt over his lifetime that people radiated emotions like fire did heat. Everyone was different in strength and intensity and distance, and situations so often affected all these aspects, but Bridge had never met anyone that radiated like Sky. 

The first time he'd met Sky was on initiation. He was outside doing laps along the track when suddenly it hit him and he lost his balance. Bridge stumbled, struggling to regain his stability. He stepped aside to try and figure out where it was coming from. Anger, frustration, physical exhaustion. It almost hurt to feel it all, but no one directly around him seemed to be the cause. Like a radar, he followed. He could tell he was getting closer when things intensified. Bridge found it wasn't exactly painful, but over stimulating in a way he'd never felt before, not from one person. Eventually, Bridge found himself staring at a singular man doing push ups on the grass, out of the way of everyone else. 

That was how it started, with a heat so overwhelming it was distracting, but living and working together eventually meant that Bridge became used to it, and even so, missed it when it was gone. Bridge didn't find himself getting overwhelmed as often, though it still happened when Sky was intensely emotional - more often than he let on - but he found that when Sky was too far away, something felt off, like he was missing a part of himself. 

He wasn't sure when Sky's mere presence, sensed by whatever weird aether Bridge had access too, became so integral to feeling like himself, but it was, and it was too late for anything else.

He’d never told Sky, and did make a point to tell him in the future. Knowing what Sky was like, he’d try to change it, try to reign in his emotions, to not project, and Bridge didn’t want that. Though at times Sky’s negative emotions were consuming, the anger and pain and anxiety and loss, but when Sky was happy, when he was proud and inspired, Bridge felt lighter than air. There was a risk that Sky would feel awkward, and Bridge didn’t want that either; he never wanted to hurt Sky or to feel like he was invading his privacy, he just had little control over it with the way Sky emanated like the sun.

What Bridge found the worst was that he could sense Sky’s emotions even while he was asleep. Sky was prone to nightmares - though he’d never admitted it to Bridge - and those feelings flowed though into Bridge’s own mind, twisting his dreams. Sometimes it was hard to recognise, in his slumbered state, who the nightmare originated from, but just in case, Bridge always tried to reach out with his mind and help anyway he could. He wasn’t always confident it was actually working, but it was either that or nothing, and Bridge hated the idea of leaving Sky in pain if he had even the slightest chance to ease it.

When Sky was attacked Icthior, Bridge lost that emotional connection. He was out on patrol with Syd, and though the distance put a strain on it, the connection was always there. And then it wasn’t. It felt like the air had been knocked from him, this vacuum left in his chest that no breathing could fill. Sky couldn’t be….? They were called back but attacked on the way and up in the infirmary. When he regained his consciousness, the first thing he did was reach out to Sky, and he was thankful to feel that he was still alive, though the connection was weak.  
Sky was in a neckbrace, still unconscious, but alive, and in that moment, that was all that mattered. Bridge could cry.

He became clingy after, as clingy as he could get without physical contact. He’d always picked up on Sky in a passive way, but Bridge made more conscious choices to reach out, to feel. Sky still radiated more than anyone he’d ever met, and if he concentrated too hard he’d sometimes get dizzy, but it was worth it knowing Sky was safe, or even if he was in danger, because Bridge knew he’d do anything to get to him to help.


	2. Chapter 2

His reaching out had consequences. Bridge was sat on his bed with his guitar, struggling to find something to play, and so he reached out. He sensed Sky in the gym training, a mix of adrenaline and physical strain and pride, and then let him go. Not long after, Sky returned, and Bridge felt something else, trepidation. Sky showered, but the feeling didn’t pass.

Upon his return to the room, Bridge asked. “Sky, is everything okay?”

Sky was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, a nervous habit. The reply Sky gave was delayed, hesitant. “Bridge, if I ask you a question, will you promise to be honest with me?”

That put him on edge. “Yeah, I wouldn’t lie to you.”

“Have you been...poking, in my head?”

Bridge swallowed rather audibly. “Urm, sort of.”

“Sort of?”

Bridge wanted him to understand, but it was a rather long winded explanation. “How much do you want to know?”

“How much should I know?” Sky was anxious, expecting something bad, insidious, and Bridge knew he had to explain everything best he could to put him at ease.

“I’ve always been able to sense you, more than anyone else. I don’t know what it is about you, what makes you different to me, but you are. The first day we met, on initiation, I found you because I followed your emotions like a beacon because I’d never felt someone so strong before. It’s always been like that.” Bridge couldn’t look at him, didn’t need to see the expression on his face because he could already feel the confusion. “I lost you once, when Icthior attacked, and I decided I never wanted to feel like that again; I felt so empty, I’d been used to sensing you for years and then you were gone. But you came back.

“I started reaching out, just to make sure you were still there, that you were okay. I tried not to get too close, I didn’t, I didn’t want you to feel like I was invading you, but, I can tell that’s how you feel now.” He was. Sky was feeling violated, betrayed, vulnerable in the way Bridge knew he never wanted to feel. And it was his fault. “I’m sorry,” he choked out, trying not to break down. This wasn’t about him, this wasn’t about his feelings, it was about Sky and everything he’d done to hurt the one person he only ever wanted to protect.

“I don’t understand why you couldn’t just tell me this. Instead, you hide this from me, for years, for our entire time together. Bridge, I thought I could trust you.”

“You can,” he said so desperately, “Please, Sky.”

“I need to know why you didn’t tell me.”

“I was scared.”

“Why?”

“Because I didn’t want you to react like this.”

The anger was starting to subside, but Sky was hurting beyond what Bridge had ever felt, and it was his fault. “I just don’t get it. We’ve shared so many things, trusted each other with our lives. Bridge I trust no one more than I trust you so why didn’t you tell me?”

There was more Bridge needed to say, but saying almost felt too difficult, but not saying it would hurt Sky even more and Bridge didn’t want that. “I’ve known that I’ve loved you for a while, and I couldn’t bear to let you go. I was selfish, I knew you couldn’t feel the same and so I did all I could to hold on to you.” He took a shaky breath, fidgeting with his gloves. “I was scared you’d want to break the connection, and though I’m not even sure that’s something I can do, I didn’t want to risk it.”

Sky finally sat on his bed, resting his head in his hands, elbows on his knees. “You should’ve told me Bridge.”

“I was scared.”

The room fell silent. There was nothing else Bridge could think to say, nothing that would make it better, for either of them. Sky wasn’t moving much, rubbing his eyes and dragging his hands down his face. Bridge could still sense his emotions, but he tried not to let it show, to let the feelings of betrayal overwhelm him; that was never his intention, but if he’d thought it through, he would’ve known.

Eventually Sky stood, and Bridge watched as he pulled on his shoes and jacket and left without another word. It wasn’t until a few hours later, when the team was called to the Command Centre, one member short, was it revealed that Sky had taken leave, going back home to spend time with his mom. Cruger said nothing to him, and Bridge couldn’t tell if he knew anything, if Sky explained or left it as minimal as possible, but no one else seemed to know.

“It’s not like Sky to just leave. He barely takes down time as it is,” Jack said as they left. “Bridge, did he say anything to you before he left?” Bridge shook his head. It wasn’t exactly a lie, even if he did know why Sky was gone. He’d felt the connection lessen with distance, but outside of whatever radius he could reach, he had no idea how far Sky was, he didn't know he’d gone home. 

Bridge felt empty, and he excused himself back to his room. They looked at him, he caught Jack’s concerned gaze, but they didn’t say anything and let him go. For the first time in a long while, Bridge cried. He felt stupid, laying on his bed, face in his pillow, but he cried regardless; he’d lent that bottling his emotions did more harm than good to not only himself but those around him.

Had Bridge lost him? Had Bridge ruined their friendship, their ability to work as a team? Would Sky ever trust him again?


	3. Chapter 3

For a week, Bridge felt rather like a zombie, moving around from place to place without really thinking. During battles he pulled it together enough to do what needed to be done - he wasn’t going to allow his friends to get hurt because of his emotional compromise - but away from his mandatory duty, he kept to himself. It was easier that way. The team had stopped him, more than once each, to ask if he was alright. He always said he was. Jack was the only one confident enough to ask, "It's because of Sky, isn't it? Something happened." Bridge neither confirmed nor denied, but Jack was right and he knew it. He didn’t pry any more, which Bridge was thankful for, just a gentle hand on his back, a half smile, and a final, “Well, I’m here if you need me.” The thought was appreciated, but it wasn’t something Bridge was ready to disclose yet.

He missed Sky, beyond what he thought was possible. Being constantly around someone, professionally and personally, meant an attachment was bound to form, but Bridge could not have guessed it’d be like this.

He’d never been in love before. For a while, he didn’t even know that that was what he was feeling, he had no point of reference, but his feelings for Sky changed, and it was different from anything else, and so he knew it had to be love. There was no one exact moment when everything fell into place for him, but there were times he remembered fondly.

He remembered Sky’s first birthday with the team. Bridge knew but the others didn’t and he put together a surprise party, and he remembered Sky’s attempted glare sent in his direction, but Sky felt valued and important and gooey inside, and Bridge caught himself staring and smiling more than he probably should’ve.

He remembered when he first saw Sky drunk, stumbling and surprisingly giggly, grinning with all his teeth. Bridge had learnt from past experiences that he and alcohol did not mix, and so he was the sober one Sky lent on to keep himself upright. Even drunk though, Sky was careful to keep skin-to-skin contact at a minimum, pulling his sweater sleeves as far over his hands and fingers as he could. When Sky was drunk, he found all of Bridge’s jokes funny.

He remembered how Sky stuck to him post Bork kidnapping. Bridge couldn’t go anywhere without Sky trailing behind, pretending that he wasn’t making a point of following him everywhere. Sky would go out of his way for him, stick closer to him in battle. It didn’t bother him, it made him feel important, it made him feel valued.

A week after Sky left, he came back. Bridge hadn’t been told, and he was just laying on his bed when the door opened and Sky walked in. They made eye contact, Sky stood in the doorway for a moment, before entering and sitting on his bed. Bridge sat up, swinging his legs over to mirror. Someone needed to say something, but it didn’t feel like his place to start the conversation, so he waited patiently.

After a few moments, “I’ve had time to think.” Sky sighed, looking anywhere but Bridge. “I’ll start with that fact that I forgive you. I understand now, why you did what you did and why you didn’t tell me. I don’t completely appreciate it, but if I was you, maybe I’d have done the same thing.” Sky scratched at the back of his neck and Bridge held his breath, waiting for the ‘but’ that must come. “A week is a long time to think,” he added, more to himself than to Bridge, but the point was made.

Bridge could sense bits and pieces from Sky - anxiety and stress - but it was less than it used to be. Maybe it had been the time apart, maybe it was something else, he wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.

“In the week I was gone, I realised some important things,” Sky began again. “I realised that, with being so far away from you, I missed… I’m not sure exactly what it is, I don’t know if it’s anything like what you feel, but I felt strange, like I had forgotten something, or something was missing. And I realised that, even if you can break whatever weird connection there is between us, I don’t, I don’t want that. I don’t want that Bridge.”

It felt like now was an appropriate time to speak, to ask, “Well, what do you want?”

Sky dragged a hand down his face. “Will you be honest with me?” Bridge nodded. “Did you mean it when you said you loved me?”

Bridge nodded again. “Yes.”

“Without you, I realised how important you are to making me feel like myself. I don’t know if that’s love or something else, but it’s what I’ve always imagined love to be.” Sky was struggling. Words were not his strong area and neither were emotions, and Bridge wanted to give him all the time he needed, but he also wanted to ensure the Sky knew he wasn’t alone in struggling to navigate feelings. Slowly, he stood and walked over, cautious steps that Sky could say no to, but he looked up and waited for Bridge to get in front of him.

Bridge was feeling overwhelmed, his own emotions and Sky’s mixing into a swirling mass in his body and mind. Sky’s eyes were glassy, much like his own surely must’ve been, and when Bridge reached out with a leather clad hand, Sky didn’t pull away, and let the hand be brought gently to his face.

“I’m sorry I hurt you. I promise, it was never my intention. I just wanted to be close to you.”

“I know that now, I just needed time to get there, to see it myself.”

With his thumb absentmindedly stroking across Sky’s cheek, leaning into the touch, Bridge asked, “Where do we go from here?”

“I don’t know, but if you don’t know either, then I’m sure we can figure something out together.”

“If you trust me enough for that.”

“Bridge, I trust you more than I trust myself, believe me, I trust you with this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shoutout to the spd discord because I really enjoy being able to talk about this with people that know what I'm talking about, and keeping me inspired ^_^


End file.
